I was walking through the cemetery this morning and saw a guy crouching down behind a tombstone. I said, "Morning." He said, "No, just taking a shit"..... When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realized that the Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole a bike and asked him to forgive me.The Stuttering CatA teacher is explaining biology to her 4th grade students."Human beings are the only animals that stutter," she says.A little girl raises her hand. "I had a kitty-cat. I threw the transmission in reverse and throttled back up, coming to a full stop, then shifting into neutral. The party barge was turning back for her when she swam to my hull."Pull me in, please," she said. "Please..."I tossed a bight of a mooring line over the side to her. She put the strap of her bag in between her teeth and grabbed the line. We both pulled and she was quickly standing on the bulwark."Are you okay?" I asked."Yes. If I can stay here. I don't want back on THAT boat."'That. Oh, Maybe two things, he did want sex sometimes. He was so good in bed it was hard for Kathryn to turn him down. All these things were running through her mind as she drove to the airport to pick up her son.She got there early; she wanted Derrick to see her when he got off the plane. She wanted him to know how much she missed him. About half the passengers had embarked and still no Derrick. Just when she was beginning to worry, she saw him step onto the concourse. Was it her imagination or did. ’ The initial one was based on the Statler Brother’s song, ‘This Bed of Rose’s.’ The second used the Marty Robbins El Paso trilogy: ‘El Paso’ ‘El Paso City ‘ and ‘Faleena.’ The third had stories based on the various versions of ‘Maggie May’ or ‘Maggie Mae.’ The fourth invitational was based on any Country & Western song and the fifth on songs by Merle Haggard. The current invitational is based on any song written or performed by Willie Nelson. Regards, Jake Author’s Note: This is the first part.
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