I’m buying, so whatever you want, even that shit you drink that’s seven bucks a pop. My treat.’ ‘I’ll take care of that, ma’am and thank y...u for allowing us to serve you.’ I spent the next hour on the phone, making reservations at Dillinger’s, and quitting my job which came as no surprise to my boss, who was ecstatic for me. – 2 – My first day at Malken & Drake was mostly spent with the operations manager, a thirtyish redhead with an awesome body, showing me around the stock rooms and offices. Engaged, he assumed control, ensured my virginity on the altar. A year later, we married, I just turned eighteen, he twenty-three. I’ve never known another man. Now twenty-five, I’m meeting my first real date. I’m being me, at last. Conversing with myself between stoplights, I rewrote my personal history to justify meeting a man, not my husband.Approaching Michael’s restaurant in Sunnyvale, our meeting place, however, my rationalized confidence dissipated, replaced with timid reality.I’m. 'Sorry, what did you say?' I asked.He smiled at me, a little strangely, as if there were some inside joke I didn't get. Did he notice me staring? He composed himself, standing straight up, which meant I had to bend my head up a little since Joshua was about an inch taller than me.'I said, who are you here with?' He repeated.'I'm with some guys from college tonight, what about you?'Joshua smiled wider.'I'm with the guys, come on let's say hi.' He said. I wanted to go with him, but I couldn't go. I couldnever have done that at my house. I was almost always dressed as Rickyand I was always a boy at home."I was given so much that I had craved and really needed. The funnything about all of it was, I had to be a girl to receive it."I laughed then and I mean I laughed! How ironic that just six yearslater here I am dressed and really looking and feeling like a girl onceagain. From Ricky to Angel to Ricky to Rich and now I am Rachel!I have a future, a great job and many new friends thanks to.
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