I mean my gender and mysexuality. Am I a male or female? Am I just a blend of them, which isheavy on the feminine side for a male? I will find out wi...h Dana atmy side.I do not even want to get into sexuality, for I do not care what itis called. I do care that I am admitting that Dana does it for me. Ijust did not notice it, for I never felt attraction like that beforeto anyone, let alone a man. I do not want to get graphic, but, thatfirst kiss got me aroused, but I did not get hard. (Sorry,. Every time I sneezed, or scratched an itch, I was certain that I wasdying of AIDS. Some of my time was put to good use: for the first timein my life, I prepared a will (leaving everything to my ex-wife after asizeable bequest to my college) and my diet improved, as if by eatingright I might ward off the deadly virus. At the office, I threw myselfinto a miserable project that everyone had been avoiding, earning hugebrownie points for my long hours and manic compulsion to finish it.When I. You returned to the kitchen and came back holding a tray, which You placed on Your lap as You sat down in the chair.And then You fed me, Sir: bacon and apple juice and coffee and the most delicious mushroom and cheese omelet I have ever tasted, offering me bites of food from a fork or holding the juice or coffee to my lips as I remained in my position. You asked me about my schedule for the day and about my clients, taking a few bites for yourself as I answered and telling me a little bit. There were no villains around. Oops, we were wrong. There are always villains around. For there to be no villains, it would be like having light without shadow. Brightness without darkness. There’s no such thing. And with Lou gone, I guess Bernadine has decided to finally drop the mask. She has decided to reveal her inner monster. And the target of her abuse and her fury is me. The hero of the story. Why me? That’s a question I’ve asked myself many times. I’m just a big and tall young black man.
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