You can in some way call it the purgatory.” The voice answered.“But I have not done anything wrong in my life… I mean some lies and maybe I coul... have gone to church more but still, I have not done anything that bad. And I have tried to help people and does helping grandmas crossing streets not count?” Alan rambled on fear seeping in slowly.“It’s not about right or wrong for you...actually it is because you never succumbed and indulged in the pleasures of the flesh. I think the almighty took. I said baby let me spend the night and she was so happy to have me over. We talked had some drinks had a good time, I went to sleep on her couch and Belle went to her room. During the night a big storm passed through, thunder, lighting pretty bad shit, Belle is scared of storms, she woke me up crying and shaking, I held her trying to calm her down, she wanted me to lay in bed with her, I agreed and we went to her bed. She rested her head on my chest saying how. My heart was so full of love for Reid at that moment that I felt like that love struck 22 year old again.It just seemed unfair for him to have to give up his dream because I was afraid to fly or to get on a ship.Besides, I didn't want there to be any resentment between us in later years. When we hit our fifties and could barely stand each other, I didn't want to hear him telling everyone we knew how he didn't get to go to Europe because I was afraid.So barely three weeks later, I was kissing. It was only a crush. He told himself for the tenth times that morning. He’d come this whole way and wanted to open himself up for healing, but could feel his walls going up as the time to meet everyone approached. The day before he left the hospital he’d told her how he felt about her. He had held her hand, rubbed his fingers over the scarred skin of her cheek. That day he’d fancied himself in love with her. His love for her seemed to give him life, and a desire to live. His declaration proved.
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