But you didn’t clean up and come all the way into town to tell me that.”Edwin slapped his knee in delight.“I knew ya’d figure it out, Cal! Y�...er the brains of the family.”Cal leaned back in his chair.“I haven’t figured it out, Edwin, but I’m smart enough to know when my little brother is putting me on. Why don’t you come right out with it?”Edwin grimaced and then shrugged.“It’s like this, Cal. I told Roxie she should junk the old Dodge and buy herself a new one—not brand new, mind ya, just new. 'Erm ... oh ... erm ... how about researching records of births, marriages, deaths, and old census information? Maybe I could trace Rick's relatives and unearth enough for a chapter on his family background.'Mention of searching official records set Jeremy off on another tale about how he had traced the history of all the shops in the parade back to the early twentieth century. When he paused for breath Alicia said impatiently, 'Local history is all very interesting, but we are supposed to be. What the hell did she mean by, “looking for your key yet”? Did she know? Was there even any way for her to know? I gripped the counter and started to take deep breaths."Calm down," I told myself. "Take it slow. Just keep calm." I repeated those phrases. Every second that went by, my heart started to quiet down a bit. Yet, it still raced. I glanced at the clock. 4:00 pm. I had three more hours before my shift ended. Then I could go home and lock myself in my own home for the night.Despite her. Yes, you've guessed it. I am indeed a talking penis and my name is Willy Wiley.I work terribly hard for my master, doing physical labour which leaves me exhausted; I work in great depths, damp environments, high temperatures with poor ventilation, and exposure to contagious diseases; always the one to take the proactive approach and dive in head first; there are no public holidays or weekends off. I don't mind this as I get the opportunity to go into Patricia Pussy when she gets wet. .
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