I'm wondering that because it seems you got a lot more into serious reading and adult topics after you turned 16." I 'spose maybe that's true, Dr. Har...man."And you never got back into punishing yourself?"Ruthie shook her head."Is that something you'd ever think about doing?" I'd love it. But it would have to be just right, and I don't see how I'd ever find anyone who could do it 'just right'. I mean ... people are into all kinds of weird shit ... blood, black clothing, high heels, tattoos,. Father taught me to sing so I could sing his wretched songs for him. It’s said a Father is a rock of a child’s life, a provider and protector. I’ve never felt that, and I wonder if it really will be different when he’s gone.’ I kept my hand on her shoulder, standing behind her, watching the stars come out. She squeezed my hand and kept it there, the one indication of her inner struggle and her need. After a lifetime of waiting, there were footsteps on the stairs, and Maurice stuck his head in. On the way to the club, I told my husband that we should sit at different tables and I'd "try" to come on to another guy and get something going. Of course, he said, with the way your dressed, count on it? We both walked into the club about 8:30 PM and went our separate ways, I at a table by the dance floor and my husband at the bar. The night seemed long, as I wondered just how I was to come on to these guys. I danced with a few, trying different approches towards them, none which seemed to. I tried to look away but as I did I couldn't help but stare a little too long at the bulge in his jeans. As I looked up I realized that I had been seen. He was looking right at me with a knowing smile. Fortunately his wife was too engrossed in the sales chat from one of my colleagues. I could feel myself turn red and fled to the safety of the stock room. I felt so embarrassed, but realized that i was not just breathing heavily, I could feel that I was a little turned on.The next week I was at.
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