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I’m about to throw it away then remember Pie. He’s weird, he collects old phones. Perhaps he would like it — if it still works. I rummage around... find the charger and connect it up. All that’s left in the box now is old pens, tangled earphones and unrecognised keys, I throw them all away. By now, my forehead feels tight, my neck is stiff and I have a headache that feels terminal. Two paracetamol washed down with another mug of tea help, followed by a long, hot shower. Standing beneath the. I shook my head and then looked suspiciously at the bottle in my hand. ‘They didn’t even card me!’ I laughed in disbelief. I hadn’t even thought about it beforehand. ‘It was probably because you were so confident.’ Sean mused. ‘If you look nervous, they’ll card you.’ ‘Maybe…’ I laughed and took another swig. ‘It’s sort of a tradition, being Irish and all. Beer is always around in every house. O’ course, it’s Guinness there, not this watered down shite.’ Sean laughed and I couldn’t help my. “Don’t,” she said, shaking her finger. “I know you guys.” Condemnation personified.“You don’t know what she did ... is doing ... going to do,” Six said.“Which is it?”“Our boss...”“Mary, she’s nice. Surprise, you did something to Mary?”I patted my belly, “I’m her mother.”“So,” Junior said, “Not an immaculate conception.”“Drunk night. Married man,” I grimmaced, “First time.”“Ooo ... do tell,” Junior said. “I haven’t ... yet.”“Well ... splash us down and I will.”Splash us down meant start at the. The twins just kept smiling at me all the time like a starving man looks at a big steak dinner. ‘OK, what’s going on? How did I trade for the girls to be my wives?’ I demanded in frustration. ‘When you handed Spotted Owl the box of cigars, he didn’t have anything worth enough to trade for them. Remember I told you tobacco is a good trading stock, being so rare? When he took you into the lodge and pointed to the girls, and you just nodded, he thought you accepted the trade.’ ‘But… But… I.
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