That does not mean that I have enjoyed myself. I miss you badly: your laughter, your quick wit, your sense of fun, your gentleness and indeed your att...activeness. I live in hope of you changing your mind. I selfishly hope you've missed me at least a bit too. After all, you did say you liked me and admitted to an attraction.When you first said that you could not let yourself become involved I assumed that you had had a love affair that had gone sour. For some reason I no longer believe that's. Miller talking to him, and his reply about the reports she had mentioned, but most of it was taken over by feelings she had thought were both silly and long gone.He'd been twenty-five when she was in his class. On the one hand, that had seemed old at the time, but on the other hand she hadn't cared. That he was married hadn't mattered either. As she sat in class, over the months, she'd had disturbing ... but delightful thoughts about him. His smile, his soulful eyes, and especially that cleft. He had said he loved her, he remembered saying it. But he had never rationally considered what his feeling for her was. It had just come blurting out. Mike knew he had a situation."We need to talk," he said. Caryn smiled and kissed him. "We still need to talk," he insisted. Caryn tried to kiss him again but he dodged.She pouted. "About what?" About us," he said."What is there to talk about?" she asked."Oh, let's see. Maybe that Deanne is going to kill me," he said."Then don't tell her," Caryn. She said she knew abunch that had gone all the way through to surgery. Most turned backbefore surgery, and most of those that went through with the surgeryturned back as well or killed themselves. She said that maybe I wastransgender to some degree; maybe I was gay; or maybe I was just amiserable male. She could see that last part really made me mad and shetried to make me feel better by saying that the misery I felt was whatmost adolescent males go through."You have a mind of your own and.
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